My life with missing you

I don't feel like writing any feeling of mine at the moment here. Song describes my feel now. At last, i gave you a short greet and we chatted. It was only few sentences but............ I feel happy, i couldn't control myself from telling you .. : I kinda Miss You :

I miss you officially, seriously, frankly and badly ... Hope you sleep tight later!

Love is an emotion beyond our control, believe me !

p/s: This is my first time posting an Indo clip, cuz it really give impacts to my emotion :(

My life with New Year :)

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First of all, i express my greatest gratitude to those who helped and held me up, giving me hopes and support as i walk along the journey of my life in 2010. Seriously, i have to say.

We can never staying alive alone, you need families, friends and few unknown persons

It took me to wake up such early in the morning, rolling on my bed as i came home late last night! Oh, no! It was this morning, i reached home. I can't imagine how time flies swiftly and inevitably fast and hey, i still remember vividly what had occurred last year. Sound weird, last year! With a blink of eyes, here i am done with a lot of things, i accomplished part of my 2010 wishes, i didn't feel disappointed for not being achieve all the wishes, they will be in my 2011 wish list.

I have a wish list for 2011, don't laugh! I know this would be like a primary student who gonna draft an essay like ' my dream' .. *lmao* I'm still young and precious after all !!!

• ♥) Get a healthy condition. Please listen Mr God, i don't want any injection, no. I feel pain whenever it injects into. I don't feel like taking medicines as if others eating candies. I want to be a healthy boy.
• ♥) Opportunity cost again! I'm still in dilemma in dealing with myself, either study for my degree or starting catching my dream. Degree is an option, but my dream is a chance. (You might get this puzzled right? I'll tell you one day what is my dream). I wish that, God can leads me a way, show me a path in selecting my road. I know, i'm a decision maker, but i feel so sixes and seven, always. Give me strength.
• ♥) Wish that my family and friends stay healthy and happy especially my beloved mom. Mum, i'm a typical Asian, i can only say, I LOVE YOU here. Be happy, do watching me and guiding me as possible as you can, be strong and stay healthy. Hugz :)
• ♥) If i choose to continues my degree ( completed the course), i wish everything going smooth and want to obtain first class result, to get exemption from paying back my study loan. Disappointed because Diploma result is not eligible to get exemption, i made mine at first class pointer :(

Only few wishes? Seriously yes as it covers part of my life, i guess. To stay healthy, happy and life passes by smoothly (I'm pretty sure this will not be so smooth, life has too many unpredictable and unexpected).

Remember no, we can never expect the unexpected.

Well, as i always say, i'm constantly finding ways to improve myself, i make mistakes, learnt from it and move on. There's pointless being solemn over it. And i'll be more friendly and build a better personalities, to everyone, i try (which i'm doing now). Treat people by the way they treated us isn't enough, we have to treat better! I'm cognizant that being close or even by knowing a person is already considered as gift. You make one extra friend, you less one enemy.

So anyone who views my blog, i will give my greatest appreciations to youlz for keep clicking in and read my words. Sharing is Caring :)

Venue: Most of people knows the location, cut it!

Time: My December 2010

Model: Blogger himself

My life with 2010

January 2010

A new year started and everything restart. I spent a great and memorable X'mas in KL with someone special. I missed the moment, I used to miss every moment we spent. Thanks you love.

New semester started as well, that was my second semester. I ride through this month happily, as folk-say, person in love taste bit as sweet

February 2010

Chinese New year this year has fallen on Valentine day, 14th. Everyone blissfully celebrated their days with honor and promises. I failed in my relationship, had a saddest moment and yes, it was my darkest moment, where i tended hide my feeling inside.

March 2010

My studies went by smoothly, relationship did sadden me

alot but it didn't affect my studies. Lecturers are nice in a way, an interesting classes. Facebook buddy came over Kuching, was a nice meeting.

April 2010

My beloved mum had her birthday this month, I present nothing to her but i promised her to study smart for my studies.

Presentations month and final exam kicked off

Admitted to hospital again,

healthy started get worst, a sign of deterioration.

Also, finally i learnt who foes are, foes by MEAN

May 2010

Went to 'RETREAT' with course mates/ buddies, i had a blast there but food poisoning for almost week after came back.

Started to work as part time as salesperson.

Admitted 2 hospital, injection and meds again.

Missed my cabin crew walk-in interview,

i was so sick during the month.

I wasn't confident with myself and appearance

June 2010

New semester, happened to be my last semester (short semester- 7 weeks), Schedule was packed because everything needed to be done in short timeline.

Registration of MUET 2010

July 2010

Most packed throughout the year, loads of discussions and class replacements.

Presentations month, quizzes and revision weeks.

August 2010

Admitted to hospital, feeling sorrow why i'm weak! I have been putting my football watching for a while onward.

Exam month, nothing special happened this month.

September 2010

Passed all my subjects and attended my important event- Graduation day. My family

members were proud of me. Prom night took place, i made myself as one of performer.

Bought myself an expensive stuff, for cheering my first class

result

October 2010

Picked up a job- a tuition teacher, teaching add math and math. Being so tiring and busy

My birthday (11/10)- received a lot of gifts all the way from Indonesia, Singapore, Germany. And thanks to all my

buddies, for the celebrations and gifts.

MUET speaking test

Applied for Indonesia Scholarship.

November 2010

MUET exam

Went to Penisular, worked hard, in midds, met with a special person, nice personality.

It was just another ordinary month. Wake up- working- dining- sleeping

December 2010

Done with my registration for Degree, will be leaving Kuching for Studies for years.

Studying degree is actually what my family dream of, of course i hope to make them proud.

My life with T.H.I.S

I was not believed in love at first sight at all before; I don’t really recognize it as a long lasting feeling that silent stores inside until the day you came across knocking me.

I am hypnotized, sorry. I am crushed on you without acknowledging you. Loving someone is easy , as your soul is connected with someone’s.

It is kind of attraction that evokes the feeling of love

It is kind of passion that awakes the beating of heart

It is kind of distraction that awaits the connecting of souls

World seems beautiful, sky looks super blue

With you stay beside me, at that moment.

Hey amazingly,

I’m searching for the valentine day’s idea if I could make up with you! How crazy, it is all of the fantasy. Guess I gone crazy over you

I get attracted to the physical being of a person that is you, it is said appearance does matter.

Your enchanting eyes

Your soft spoken

Your blissful smiles

Your impressed personalities

It is a stage of mind, when you come and knock the door of heart, of my heart J

I’m sure that I’m falling in love. Things look rainbow colored, so colorful, so happy mood, from the moments we met.

I saw star in the morning

I found moon in the evening

I scanned sky is blue at night

Is this called blindly in love?

I haven’t banged my head but feeling the compulsion of love. Life seems stop when I think of you.

I’m badly sad. We only met once, just an hour but my head spinning over you. How the meeting could drag me to this???

I starting to noted on your life and viewing profile all times.

I missed the moments, the precious hour. In the heavy rained evening.

I spent the leftover time just watching at you, afraid that we could not meet anymore. I knew I would never see you again, Maybe. This is cruel.

If I were given three minutes more, I would rather hug you tightly; stick your smell on me so I shall bring back your smell to my place.

I could not tell further, but I miss you seriously.

Love is a strong emotion beyond our control.

It can comes to you when you are in a crowded bus and sudden stared at a a person who walks at roadside, and get attracted.

I am a lucky one, cuz I feel the feeling so strong. Embrace it and trust it, You are gonna love every second of missing the one you miss even that person is not loving you! I know it is pathetic when you fall for someone who don’t have love on you.

Sorry :l

My life with disappointing

I supposed to share this entry earlier, i've forgotten to click on ' publish' and it saved in my draft.

I am terribly disappointed with some stuff and person happen around me.

Frankly i said so, i could felt the sorrow which i've hidden it inside.
That sad and gasps accompanied my soul to grow all time, these while.
How i wish the soul and feel are not connected.

Vividly remembered, it was disappointed by devotion,
Is there anyone out there been this?

Guess you'll feel dilemma and helpless if u were in my shoe.

Something you love and someone you love

You failed to get the thing you want, and you also failed in catching the one you prefer.
Everything ended up blindly.
I ever feel hatred? Shall i act like the way it supposed to be?

I'm disappointed with the judgement.

Why there are no justice when the truth seem to be revealed but yet, it just didn't.

I'm disappointed with the commitment.

Why there are no closeness when the soul is already falling into but yet, it just failed to connect.

life is tied...

life is tired...

life is fired...

life is lied...

Okie, cut down all the disappointments

I still have few happiness that joy me up... Shall i feel more for these happiness?

Yes, everyone deserve to be happy regardless who they are.

My life with Misunderstanding

If you are not able to zero down what has created unnecessary havoc in your life, relationship or business, then you might be forgetting a dreaded word called "Misunderstanding"
Seriously I hate being misunderstood and try to not let it occurs in my life time.

I hate it, it may create unnecessary problems.


I had one recently, a great misunderstood that nearly drag my friendship to heaven. Hmmm… I have no idea how to start with the story but I could vividly remember how I started to drop down some readable comment until it got catch and here we goes MISUNDERSTANDING happened. I had tried my best to confess and explained what I have written was not the actual mean, frankly to say, I don’t think I made any mistake.

Oh, to tell you, me myself don’t even know what was going on at that moment. But I have to swear that ‘ WHAT I HAVE WRITTEN WAS NOT WHAT I FEEL INSIDE ABOUT YOU’.

It was just a misunderstanding; the fault party should be the one who started with the status posting, and I don’t even know he was referring his status to one of my friend. Shit, I’m busybody as well!

A mistake is to commit a misunderstanding. Now I can clearly know this quote, by Bob Dylan.

I have to say, I did nothing wrong at all.

Only god knows my feeling as I wrote the words and it could not reflect what I think of you that were too superficially.

I have to conclude that the other person (I mean the one who started that BULLSHIT status) is indeed at fault. I understand that, the decision with the other person is the best thing to do because there might be the reasons and situations why the other person did what was done and listening to them will not be of any harm and rather be therapeutic for everyone involved.

How I wish, how I wish, the whole drill of the painful stories results in the better and improved relationship and understanding with some bonus of future learning of do's and don'ts. And all is well, when the end is well.

I’ve been burying myself to think of this issue. I am puzzled, because the one who t thinks should understand me well just does not act like the way I think. Sigh..

My life with saying Thanks

Time flies like an arrow.. Guess what? I'm graduating soon :)

Yeppi...

For this month, I've been praying a lot. yeah, it was quite a lot in order i could graduate on time which i have set in the initial time.

I've so many things to do throughout the whole month. So yeah, apparently people keep to themselves when they're tired or so I've been told and plus nowadays i'm just busy. Couldn't tell you how busy i was during the past few weeks. Hehe..

Last few weeks has been pretty urgh? Nope, it was dramatic though. I shall nOt mention about it over gain and of course what's past is past, let bygone be bygone. Well, let's see let's see what i'm gonna type next.

Erm.... Obtained my last semester result (Thanksgiving). I passed all my subjects and thanks to my lecturers, and fellow friends who kept me company during those darkest moment and you guys will be remembered.

This is what i obtained this year:

Subject(s)

Organizational Behavior [ A ]

Introduction to Finance [ A ]

Business Research [ A ]

Occupational Safety and Health Act [ A ]

Personal Selling [ A ]

Business and Company Law [A ]

I've to thanks alot of people who holding me up and helped me alot, seriously yea. You know who you're.

Next month, i'm gonna attending my first Convo. Thanks someone for making me able to make it. Thanksss YOU, give me a hand when i was dismay. Thanks to H helping me and YOU calling me day and night, give me motivation. and BIG THANKS to my family and fellas!

p/s: Thank you, those who keep me company and my listener and YOU.

My life with Closer

I think, A has becomes a very close friend of mine. Yes, at least this is what up to my mind. We can chat well, although A is busying with works, travels and all. Always being busy. I’m glad to have A in my life. We were starting friend this year, if I’m not mistaken.

Hey, this will be a very short post cuz I ain’t describe how I feel by wording, that is way too perfunctory. A is different from other, for me obviously. Something special. Hmmm…
Thanks to God, I atleast have one more extra people who meant a lot in my life. I feel peace when i'm talking and chatting with A.

I love you, for who you are and thanks for holding me up :)

We'll be closer and i'll remember you..

My life with Nobody

I reckon something. God is fair! Yeah, he will gives you something but at the same time he won't give you another.
Yeah, i understand this since i was young just that i'm still .... (Whew, this is such a harsh way of starting things off) but why i used to be nobody or a puppet?

I'm always the one who dance Tango by my own. Hey, love is a connection game. :(


I am amazed when I listen to people, i'm really listen and look into it. Yet they're still complaining for the love life they're dealing with now. I'm pretty sure,or i should say I'M SURE they are so fuck off! The words they choose to interpret their life is simply teasing toward other (like me).

It is as though a plague has infested the human race, and I really have no idea where these thoughts have come from or how miserable life must be at times to think that way.


God don't present me LOADS of love, but instead, he gives me PLENTY of heart which could lead me to seek for LOADS MORE of love in future time, sooner or later.

We should live for ourself but not other. Wake up ...

I remember there is a person, hmm.. should be my secondary school teacher once told me,

''You'll deserve everything your heart desires just as others in the world does. If the thing is yours, it'll comes to you naturally.''

I tell you, it seems so oddball when someone tell you this. But it's way so TRUE.


Maybe i'm just a pastor of someone's life ; a character who use to cheer them up when they are down, a joker who makes them laugh when they are sad. I surrender with everything i have now. Nope, i'm not surrender but letting go.


I need to grow up and be mature. I'm 20.
I believe that, GOD is always fair, do give me strength, to ride through the darkest moment and get rid off that person from my messy mind. Tqq...

My life with taking a rest

Am very stress lately.. it might be something to do with my academic but just very minor.

Oh ya, i'm doing my last semester now and yet, i hasn't make up my mind for continuing my degree in Kuching or else-where. I've been truly exhausted by this probably, used up too much energy... See, stress is kicking in but i'm smart. Hi, i never telling anyone i'm stress or under pressure and it doesn't mean i'm so disguise. Take it as your motivator then guys as there is no point for ranting your stress all out. You got my picture here? It pushes you go further and better in a way.. Finger crosses for any windfall in this semester then =)

Laughing is another alternative way to get yourself out of stress, yes it is. Friends can always make me grumpy crowd laughed a little when they started jokes. They're so garrulously. hehe.... =DD

*people who never smile can JEOPARDIZEs you and HI, it;s a silly and morbid to entertain such ridiculous person and notion. In plain english, SUCK PEOPLE!!!*

I'm still in my labyrinth, ain't tell you where i stucking in actually but i'm finding way out. Give me some days, or probably months. It takes awhile for me to get it up and running. I don't want to be a puppet, i can hold my life now, right? hmmm... I can have a great indulgence of myself, yeahhh !!!

[ Frente- Bizarre Love Triangle], the song i listen repetitively today. It cheered me when i was demoralized but it makes my heart drop deeper in the other way round. Hmm.. how am i going to get rid off the song and the person???? My mind is sooo vague at the moment la.. :(

Awww....

See, i'm always trying to like my life in the most positive way that i can. Time seems to be flying by, it's July now. Oh, my birthday is three more months. See, how positive am i???? What say you? I'm not taking flummery ya..... hehe

*hinting hinting while biting finger*

p/s: Resting doesn't mean i'm totally tired and give up, but to recharge for next journey ...

My life with result(s

Well, i'm here again to post own result n i'm not show off :)

As usual i'm posting my result(s) just a way to let myself feel proud and motivate in next round. Don't get me wrong .. *raised eyebrows*

Broadly speaking, this post is only to do with my academic .. so, not much stories can be read here.. hehe =DD

Congrat to Mr Gazy Jong...

*boyish smiles

My life with take it or leave it ??

*knock² *

See, finally I'm here... I feel so sorry as i created this blog and yet, I'm neglecting it for quite awhile.

Which left me with little in the way of distractions, i gonna finish my studies in my hometown amazingly. Time flies like an arrow and this make my excitement increase exponentially as i'll staring my next journey very soon. I realized the probable cause, no one else was as aware of my studies as i always as. *winks*

Future is in my hand. I keep on dreaming my future now and then. I bet youols out there doing the same, as stupid as me urgh? Maybe some are dreaming of them become a model and cat-walking on a fashion show; Or imagining to become a pilot who drives the plane.

I gotta redefinition my setting now. I start to worry of my future job typically. I'm constantly finding way to improve myself, i make mistakes, learn from it and move on. Hi guys, there's pointless being solemn over it no?

M.U.E.T - I'm gonna take d test this year and yeah, it's a compulsory test for those who intent to get into local Uni. You as why?? I crave to study in local Uni, i wonder why. Haha... Maybe i have the requirements ..? It is one of my family's will as well.

Broadly speaking, i shall be glad as i have the probability to make myself into local U but i'm kind of dilemma. Mind you, I'm the only son accompanying my parents and i don't feel like leaving them lonely while I'm studying so far. Family problems now aggravating my will.Having difficulty to make the decision =(

But then, studying degree isn't what i really covet frankly to say. Soriiiii. But what i wanted to do always being discarded. It's really drag people crazy as sometimes to get what we like the most is quite difficult and by the time the thing is in your hand, but it maybe won't be the thing we want or like the most...' Sigh

You get my picture? I'm in an appalling predicament now... *muse*
I'm lurching around in a daze, being so taciturn because I'm fatigued and badly in need of good decision... Is there anyone out there able to facilitate me,helping to dislodge the puzzling thought in my brain!! So chaotic...

Mark my word:

-There're always consequences in life to make it balance. If you choose beauty, you'll get less the function and benefit; if you choose function and benefit, you can only own a normal physical appearance -

I reckon there must be someone out there understand what i mean here =)

I'm in maze now.. :(
because the darkest crowd overwhelm my sunshine...

I need a comic ... :(
because the smile on my face doesn't mean smile in my heart...

I wait for meteor... :(
because it could make thing turn out miraculously...


o(╥﹏╥)o



-Crossroad -

My life with Morbid

Yeah... my second last semester is on drama now and i'm as busy as a bee. This semester is slightly poles apart from the previous.

Assignments happen to be the first rank in my studies. Presentations and mid-terms and all. Group assignments are really drag me to hell. Isn't that i don't like but ya, you know what i feel once you experiencing my experience. I'm fucking pissed off with my member. Member suppose to corporate isn't it? Where is the participation ??

Urgh.. thing could go out from hand. I'm ranting here but at least when you wanna have a group, show me the will that you're really want to be in the particular forum and assign own work. I try to find peace, yes i am. Everything around me seems to be so unstable and sixes/ sevens. Geeezzz....

I did tried. I attempt to help and concern and follow up and all.. But what the shit feedbacks i got in return!!!!!!!! The excruciating disappointment of knowing someone never appreciate you tends to pull you out from the circle. Nah, i'm not being stupid and hit you with all the tartness word but you're not a kid. You should know what ur task and MY LIMIT!

Reflect yourself K. I don't really want chanted with my member and yet,it is mess. Oh, it's pointless complaining here and ranting and griping as it won't get my problem solved. Right Mr member??

I don't want thing pour out and we run out from the circle, it might make me ponder about the friendship...

Leader doesn't mean we do all the thing and lead the project on his own. This is so wrong!

p/s: i realized that this is just a morbid of you.. Playing online game, Copy and paste or you just straight cut it to your assignment. *sad face* . i wish you luck and pass your subject with FLYING COLOUR. Best of LUCK! Maybe i'll be fine and smile with you, but change your attitude la fucking.