Time flies like an arrow.. Guess what? I'm graduating soon :)
Yeppi...
For this month, I've been praying a lot. yeah, it was quite a lot in order i could graduate on time which i have set in the initial time.
I've so many things to do throughout the whole month. So yeah, apparently people keep to themselves when they're tired or so I've been told and plus nowadays i'm just busy. Couldn't tell you how busy i was during the past few weeks. Hehe..
Last few weeks has been pretty urgh? Nope, it was dramatic though. I shall nOt mention about it over gain and of course what's past is past, let bygone be bygone. Well, let's see let's see what i'm gonna type next.
Erm.... Obtained my last semester result (Thanksgiving). I passed all my subjects and thanks to my lecturers, and fellow friends who kept me company during those darkest moment and you guys will be remembered.
This is what i obtained this year:
Subject(s)
Organizational Behavior [ A ]
Introduction to Finance [ A ]
Business Research [ A ]
Occupational Safety and Health Act [ A ]
Personal Selling [ A ]
Business and Company Law [A ]
I've to thanks alot of people who holding me up and helped me alot, seriously yea. You know who you're.
Next month, i'm gonna attending my first Convo. Thanks someone for making me able to make it. Thanksss YOU, give me a hand when i was dismay. Thanks to H helping me and YOU calling me day and night, give me motivation. and BIG THANKS to my family and fellas!
p/s: Thank you, those who keep me company and my listener and YOU.
I think, A has becomes a very close friend of mine. Yes, at least this is what up to my mind. We can chat well, although A is busying with works, travels and all. Always being busy. I’m glad to have A in my life. We were starting friend this year, if I’m not mistaken.
Hey, this will be a very short post cuz I ain’t describe how I feel by wording, that is way too perfunctory. A is different from other, for me obviously. Something special. Hmmm… Thanks to God, I atleast have one more extra people who meant a lot in my life. I feel peace when i'm talking and chatting with A.
I love you, for who you are and thanks for holding me up :)
I reckon something. God is fair! Yeah, he will gives you something but at the same time he won't give you another. Yeah, i understand this since i was young just that i'm still .... (Whew, this is such a harsh way of starting things off) but why i used to be nobody or a puppet?
I'm always the one who dance Tango by my own. Hey, love is a connection game. :(
I am amazed when I listen to people, i'm really listen and look into it. Yet they're still complaining for the love life they're dealing with now. I'm pretty sure,or i should say I'M SURE they are so fuck off! The words they choose to interpret their life is simply teasing toward other (like me).
It is as though a plague has infested the human race, and I really have no idea where these thoughts have come from or how miserable life must be at times to think that way.
God don't present me LOADS of love, but instead, he gives me PLENTY of heart which could lead me to seek for LOADS MORE of love in future time, sooner or later.
We should live for ourself but not other. Wake up ...
I remember there is a person, hmm.. should be my secondary school teacher once told me,
''You'll deserve everything your heart desires just as others in the world does. If the thing is yours, it'll comes to you naturally.'' I tell you, it seems so oddball when someone tell you this. But it's way so TRUE.
Maybe i'm just a pastor of someone's life ; a character who use to cheer them up when they are down, a joker who makes them laugh when they are sad. I surrender with everything i have now. Nope, i'm not surrender but letting go.
I need to grow up and be mature. I'm 20. I believe that, GOD is always fair, do give me strength, to ride through the darkest moment and get rid off that person from my messy mind. Tqq...
Am very stress lately.. it might be something to do with my academic but just very minor.
Oh ya, i'm doing my last semester now and yet, i hasn't make up my mind for continuing my degree in Kuching or else-where. I've been truly exhausted by this probably, used up too much energy... See, stress is kicking in but i'm smart. Hi, i never telling anyone i'm stress or under pressure and it doesn't mean i'm so disguise. Take it as your motivator then guys as there is no point for ranting your stress all out. You got my picture here? It pushes you go further and better in a way.. Finger crosses for any windfall in this semester then =)
Laughing is another alternative way to get yourself out of stress, yes it is. Friends can always make me grumpy crowd laughed a little when they started jokes. They're so garrulously. hehe.... =DD
*people who never smile can JEOPARDIZEsyou and HI, it;s a silly and morbid to entertain such ridiculous person and notion. In plain english, SUCK PEOPLE!!!*
I'm still in my labyrinth, ain't tell you where i stucking in actually but i'm finding way out. Give me some days, or probably months. It takes awhile for me to get it up and running. I don't want to be a puppet, i can hold my life now, right? hmmm... I can have a great indulgence of myself, yeahhh !!!
[ Frente- Bizarre Love Triangle], the song i listen repetitively today. It cheered me when i was demoralized but it makes my heart drop deeper in the other way round. Hmm.. how am i going to get rid off the song and the person???? My mind is sooo vague at the moment la.. :(
Awww....
See, i'm always trying to like my life in the most positive way that i can. Time seems to be flying by, it's July now. Oh, my birthday is three more months. See, how positive am i???? What say you? I'm not taking flummery ya..... hehe
*hinting hinting while biting finger*
p/s: Resting doesn't mean i'm totally tired and give up, but to recharge for next journey ...
See, finally I'm here... I feel so sorry as i created this blog and yet, I'm neglecting it for quite awhile.
Which left me with little in the way of distractions, i gonna finish my studies in my hometown amazingly. Time flies like an arrow and this make my excitement increase exponentially as i'll staring my next journey very soon. I realized the probable cause, no one else was as aware of my studies as i always as. *winks*
Future is in my hand. I keep on dreaming my future now and then. I bet youols out there doing the same, as stupid as me urgh? Maybe some are dreaming of them become a model and cat-walking on a fashion show; Or imagining to become a pilot who drives the plane.
I gotta redefinition my setting now. I start to worry of my future job typically. I'm constantly finding way to improve myself, i make mistakes, learn from it and move on. Hi guys, there's pointless being solemn over it no?
M.U.E.T - I'm gonna take d test this year and yeah, it's a compulsory test for those who intent to get into local Uni. You as why?? I crave to study in local Uni, i wonder why. Haha... Maybe i have the requirements ..? It is one of my family's will as well.
Broadly speaking, i shall be glad as i have the probability to make myself into local U but i'm kind of dilemma. Mind you, I'm the only son accompanying my parents and i don't feel like leaving them lonely while I'm studying so far. Family problems now aggravating my will.Having difficulty to make the decision =(
But then, studying degree isn't what i really covet frankly to say. Soriiiii. But what i wanted to do always being discarded. It's really drag people crazy as sometimes to get what we like the most is quite difficult and by the time the thing is in your hand, but it maybe won't be the thing we want or like the most...' Sigh
You get my picture? I'm in an appalling predicament now... *muse* I'm lurching around in a daze, being so taciturn because I'm fatigued and badly in need of good decision... Is there anyone out there able to facilitate me,helping to dislodge the puzzling thought in my brain!! So chaotic...
Mark my word:
-There're always consequences in life to make it balance. If you choose beauty, you'll get less the function and benefit; if you choose function and benefit, you can only own a normal physical appearance-
I reckon there must be someone out there understand what i mean here =)
I'm in maze now.. :(
because the darkest crowd overwhelm my sunshine...
I need a comic ... :(
because the smile on my face doesn't mean smile in my heart...
I wait for meteor... :(
because it could make thing turn out miraculously...
Yeah... my second last semester is on drama now and i'm as busy as a bee. This semester is slightly poles apart from the previous.
Assignments happen to be the first rank in my studies. Presentations and mid-terms and all. Group assignments are really drag me to hell. Isn't that i don't like but ya, you know what i feel once you experiencing my experience. I'm fucking pissed off with my member. Member suppose to corporate isn't it? Where is the participation ??
Urgh.. thing could go out from hand. I'm ranting here but at least when you wanna have a group, show me the will that you're really want to be in the particular forum and assign own work. I try to find peace, yes i am. Everything around me seems to be so unstable and sixes/ sevens. Geeezzz....
I did tried. I attempt to help and concern and follow up and all.. But what the shit feedbacks i got in return!!!!!!!! The excruciating disappointment of knowing someone never appreciate you tends to pull you out from the circle. Nah, i'm not being stupid and hit you with all the tartness word but you're not a kid. You should know what ur task and MY LIMIT!
Reflect yourself K. I don't really want chanted with my member and yet,it is mess. Oh, it's pointless complaining here and ranting and griping as it won't get my problem solved. Right Mr member??
I don't want thing pour out and we run out from the circle, it might make me ponder about the friendship...
Leader doesn't mean we do all the thing and lead the project on his own. This is so wrong!
p/s: i realized that this is just a morbid of you.. Playing online game, Copy and paste or you just straight cut it to your assignment. *sad face* . i wish you luck and pass your subject with FLYING COLOUR. Best of LUCK! Maybe i'll be fine and smile with you, but change your attitude la fucking.
I thought i could, but then, i failed. Hmm.. Nonetheless, i had really tried my best to hit the thing i wanted and the outcomes wasn't bad, or it was excellent as my friend all greet me, i just don't feel proud of it. It somehow , a disappointment for me. Nah, i'm not exaggerating. It brings impact... I'm never feel so happy in deep, or if i do smile, it just a smile. Just a smile. I always crave for the best and would like to be the top. I have a high self-expectation. I'm pretty much busy preoccupying with my assignments. People once called im a nerd, so what? Its my life, how are you going to music it? bastard!! I ain't to achieve first class for my previous semester. 3,73 isn't reach it yet. Gonna moan for it.
''I've been putting off my football watching for awhile now, maybe its one of the route to drive myself be more concentrated on studies. Even myself, feel kinda flabbergasted as i choose to read book more than watching.. ''
Glad that my circle of friend getting expanding and ya, i've lots of friend. But those that i really trust always be little. It ain't easy opening up to people that you think you know, but end up getting knife in the back of you.Can you get my picture? Try ya, if one day in future u experience betraying by any one of ur closet, you'll definitely think that, my statement is kinda true. I couldn't bring myself to hate a person easily but i'm still have my limit, once you beyond it, you'll gonna paid off. I don't have intention to blame anyone , but frankly my feeling and the way i treat them will change , who was betraying me anyway. Don't misjudge me, i'm no longer Mr. nice. I tend to be more protective lately and sensitive. Beware, nonentity!
In my life, i hardly regret for whatever i've done and i know exactly how its going to be like if i do regret. For sure, some unexpected will be grouped out of the field. Weols here can never expect the unexpected urgh..? Right? Many of dramatic happened and yet, i still close one eye. Lifestyle really changes, yes. No doubt, stress is kicking in.
My life is happy now, i cognizant this, because i still able to choose who to be friend with and what to eat.. what to wear.. freedom is in my hand. Everything can be utterly complicated at time , it depends on how we see them through our naked eyes, isn't it? Lol... Since talking is the most effective and easiest method to alleviate boredom from aggravating, I'll talk more and blog more.. Lifestyle changing all the time as if a coaster, its ambiguous and unclear, we're all here living on earth, wish to learn more, bit by bit, day by day.. we live, so we learn and we love...
Yes, i miss you more than before involuntarily... love ya =(
Nah.. it a new year, a new brand but then, for me it is just an ordinary day next to d previous day. Well, people might countdown crazily during so does me.. hehe... was being crazy frog hatin d so-called big day.. I don't have any high hopes for my new year, am just set an expectation... I tend to be more random.. hopefully, d more we crave and once we fail to make it, hurts so much ya frankly i said. My 2009's wishes.. Major part of it have been accomplished and i was happy..*paid off* as i could achieved some that really draw me smile, but there are always a contrast.. Some wishes are still remain as a wish.. means i failed to hit it.... *stop swell on it*
Hehe.. i still wish la anyway.
I wish i could behave myself than before and be a healthy boy.. self-regard person, keep making my results with a flying colour *my parent will feel proud* , be a top student and longed everything run smoothly -at least, my family.... my friends... 2009 wasn't bad. Yeah, true la. It hasn't drag me to hell, just half-hell... LMAO
Anyway, some stupid are just simply entered my life in d past and mostly messed up my life but, i managed to kick them out.. Thx god. I'd rather save energy than waste them by talking to those who imbeciles .. cacat, understand??? Sometimes we're just saddened by people's attitude shown.. pissed me off !! So in plain english, they are stupid people.. it was silly and morbid to entertain such ridiculous humans.
Meanwhile, there is a thing whereby keep giving delusive to me.. By the time i realised that i need it so much, the thing just gone away..unable to round on with it.. Okie, maybe it was a beautiful butterfly of my life..
New yeat, as if a new day.. we still wake up and shower and tidy our bed and doing routines.. Nothing much change.. Take it as a normal day... it is my respective view of a day..
For very sure, my life is quite full of happiness now and what the light there was seemed to be radiating from someone who happens to be so important in my life.. Thanks....
Nothing gonna change, I'm still me. Just that, my obligations add in and backpack of mine getting heavier =)
See the picture above? yeah... i honestly like the landscape, feel so peace whenever i stare at the sky and sea.. I love BEACH !!
Well... Am able to relax myself, after all. My final was over and yeah, i dump myself in holiday mode now... I've been truly exhausted probably my restless weeks, used up too many energy, but no worries as i'm charging myself fully now before i start do my lesson again. Ahoho, i practically did nothing other than sleep, eat, read and whole bunch of NOTHING.. Urgh... Just done one book.. Oh, i took 3 months to finish reading a book.. How time consumed har..? hehe.. Nah, i'm not exaggerating.
Have plenty things to do throughout the semester, people keep saying how busy they were and all or so i've been told. Okie, i got what you guys mean. was bombarded lots of stuff. We're here to busy aren't we? Imagine of those busy-ness really kills my brain cells... better don't !
I HATE MY COLLEGE!!!!!! STUPID COLLEGE, never thinks of student's right.. It happens to be now i can't choose my major ANYMORE!!! *middle finger*
Oh ya... see, this is my new appearance of blog. Sigh, thats all i could make for my pity baby blog, i'm not talented in doing this. It took me 24 hours to repair my blog's face. I was just paint it with the light color and hopes the color could make my readers reading happily.. Hi mind you, color is an important element to cheer a person.. *raise eyebrows*
So random now, just typing as my heart tells. Lol.. ;-)
Relax? No way, there are many things come simultaneously and continuously. FYI, i'm looking forward to step out from my staying area and walking out here, get more environment. Hehe..
p/s: There is an accusation of the small matter, that turns into a massive fight. Where is d trusty? I'm sick of it. It makes me taken back whenever i try to picture it.. awww, how bad it feels.
We all keep saying, trusty is important to link people and now i realized that, it is kinda hard to establish.. To be frank, u gotta believe it. Trust is an expectation that another party will not allow you to be harmed at a time when you are vulnerable. Your willingness to trust another party is affected by your history with that party and your personality.Yes, i do agree. But then, i wonder how to make people trust me, fully ;-(
Is there anyone out there know what is sympathetic division? Its when the nervous system prepares you for stressful situation and mainly it lower down your metabolism rate, and make you more alert. Yeah, this is what i feeling now.. I'm tired. Please come clean to me, my brain is in a mash ald.
One said, when trust has been violated in an important relationship, it should be repaired. But then, its not as easy as that and I'm tired to make one's believe me anymore, after all. I've out of idea, to persuade other put the trust in me.
Ooh.... No, it should comes naturally without any pre-effort. No point, if we keep on debating just to draw back a circle line if it doesn't look like round shape. Yeah, have to agree in which, building trust in relationships need considerable effort, commitment and time.
I've plenty of time, but how may hours i can give? It remains as a question... Bring out an issue. The issue isn't whether or not people have negative emotions about changing, it's how people deal with them. Build a knowledge of how to established trusty have many representing ways and skills. Maybe i use the wrong one or.
I've no alternative to help myself.. or maybe I've given up. I'm trying, often in my days... I'm just silent with many combination of thoughts and efforts,but who know? Who can read a boy's mind?
And its nice to know when someone doesn't trust you anymore.. LOL
It comes to the corner, for us to greet goodbye to 2009 and hugs the coming of a new year. Just wait. One more month and the calendar will come to its end.
Time flies like an arrow, leaving fast without knowing by us. I have to admit it and I’m now 19, maturity is obviously, should have. Yeah, I’m no longer an under-aged guy. I can step in club officially and legally. Few more days will be the starting of my finals… a nightmare?No... I just can’t wait to finish my entire exam and I can take a breath… I always can’t wait for my exam, typical me. Don’t you heard before, the longer we wait, the more nervous we are. So, just do it. It has been my pandemic.
On my studies… I believe that, I have tried my very best. I’m kind of greedy when it comes to studies since I was secondary 4. I crave for top, always going up to higher rank. People say I’m crazy, because those who said it were normally the last. Haha… I accomplished what I wanted, I guess, oh... but still disappointed with minor of them… quite disappointed. I used to start and start earlier than other, no no no, I don’t found any problem here… I’m the first mover, remember? So, I tend to be more alert. Is it alert? Or I’m kiasu kind? Whatever, u ain’t marking my life…
While, my circle of friend remain d same anyway. My college friends and some Malay friends, forget to tell, i've some happened to be my friend but they are racist. *kicked* Cant blame them, not my stuff. Well, I’m not that choosy when it comes to making friend as long as you really treat me as friend. Im ok with it... But please don’t expect too much from me. I’m no longer a Mr. nice like I did before. I can picture some in my mind, where it’s pointless to treat people nicely even you know they just take you as so-so friend. It tasted awful and I won’t like a fool, never. I’m so protective toward myself ever since. I’m easy to approach no doubt, but you got me no point I tell you even once my friends told, I’m too hard for them to study, because I choose who to tell and keep. I’m smart in this. But for sure, I know who can be my true friend and who can be my friend. As simple as that, easy thing to get in mind. Not to forget, i love all my bloggers. You know who you are.. looking forward to meet uols, Thx for being such concern and friendly =)
My family? Too many things to catch up and this year isn’t a luck year for my family I would say. Calamities keep flooding over… anyhow, everything was past, and we still managed to curve it with a cover page. Nothing much to link..
Good news for myself, I become brighter than my previous year. I smiles more than last year, maybe there was some interludes, bringing me sweet and happy memories. I will never forget, it will be always sweet memories for me, either sad or happy, still it is a memory. Thanks… for those who taught me the meaning of love, the dentition of tender and the acts of caring. You’ll always with me no matter what…. *winked*
Sure, I have my sadness month as well. There is no-one, who manage to act happy throughout the whole year. Human being builds up with feeling also… I was saddened by something bad… It somehow brings me to the abyss, felt like I was in an appalling predicament. Feels helpless... Nobody give me a hand at the moment, because I never tell anyone. Oh no, I told some about my stories and glad to have them, to be with me, ride though all the sadness day. I’m tired , to be an actor for movie call life. We can disguise no doubt, but we can never fool our self. So, you can never know a 19 years old boy might cry like baby. Life had implied me plenty of stuff and the tone of life somehow not understandable, resulted in me lost too many thing one go. See, how silly life is and morbid to entertain people like fool…
Robert Frost once said, keep the sweetest moments we ever had and make sure we remember the happy period of time but, we should keep those are bad as well, study them and be friend with them… don’t threw those sad memory away, the more you want to forget, the harder you are.
Yap, I personally agree with it. So, I choose to remember instead of forget, store in the deepest part of me. Because we can never erase the things that happened in life, or we’ll live in heartless life, it happens every time when we recall back the whole accident. The sight of those things gives me so many emotions, mostly sadness but also happiness. Sometime sweet and happy memories might give a sad impact to emotion. Believe me, I trust it!
I’m tending to be more looking at the bigger picture. I think from perspective views just to draw a perfect line in the middle for myself to not doing over, either less. Don’t always go for minor but major also. LIFE is easy but it isn’t as simple as we thought. Never, we need to commit so many many with life. So, I view life from different aspects now, wider our view, the bigger landscape will be snapped, the more experience we gather, it paid off in the end. I like to take an unusual route. I don’t like following, I walk by my own.
Wow, my hand is getting tired. It is a lot man.. Okie, I’m just too many feeling want to spray out before I start my exam and my blog will be quite silent for a month time. I take this opportunity to blog more, to pen more…
I need fresh air to breathe in. I need new environment, for awhile to restart my brain setting before I dump back to my college in new semester… My entire semester was dragging me to hell but I love the schedule, it was packed. It filled every minute of mine. I was so busy, this is undoubtedly inevitable but yet happy.
