My life with relationship

I'm sorry for not updating my blog quite awhile.. Was busying myself in many many matter- or i'm just trying to find something to distract myself. I guess i've failed to do so as everything still, in sixes and sevens.

It’s never easy when a relationship ends. Whatever the reason for the split – and whether or not you wanted it – the breakup of a long-term, committed relationship can turn your whole world upside down and trigger all sorts of painful and unsettling feelings. Hiding our self in room, wet our pillow or blanket by crying all the time, woke up suddenly in the midnight whenever dream of them, and again a sleepless day after it. As my friend once told, everything things that have happened or potentially happen are all the way, setting by God. Its so called providence. I don't bother to learn it and i trust myself more. I trust God as well, in another way, different angle.

I'll always ask myself, Why do breakups hurt so much, even when the relationship is no longer good? I still cant give myself a clear answer. Those questions are not registered well in my mind. Maybe i never think of it? No... i think but it'll be a question which remains no answer still, as love makes us blind. We cant evaluate- which one is bad or good by the time you've falling in love, everything is nice in your eyes i would say.

I read a post in newspaper today, an article pointed out breakup is painful because it means we loss, not just of the relationship, but also of shared dreams,commitments and communication but i really don't get it much, or I've my own explanation for the title. Yes, it might be correct but not for me.

Hmm... A breakup brings unclear about the future, the day after day- tomorrow, tomorrow and tomorrow. What will life be like without our love one, life still going as usual but we do feel so lonely, empty, so lost or some might feel angry or anxious if they are the heartbroken. But for me, somehow i try to not angry or hate that someone who had broken my heart, instead I'll take it as a lesson of my life, a tutorial for my future preparation, to love again or being love, once again. Pointless to hate that someone who you used to love before, the one you miss everyday or the one who sweet to you, I'll be a great loser. Dont !!!

I realised the fact, which is two person used to be a couple before would never be friend any longer as they hate each and other. Hmmm...This time, i get it. i can understand the scenario anywhere if there are really problem occurs by the time or the way the ended up the relationship. So, the way you saying goodbye to your relationship(partner) is kind of studies, a lesson which is waiting for us , to discovey, to study, to acknowledge how important is it.

I urged, never treat your partner like a toy or substitution. Or else you'll be cursed untill the day you die. And this will be another issue in whilst.

Try to love them more before you know the love is gonna over, be good and try to use a light tone when you feels like ending up a relationship. Reason(s) should be clear and understandable by your partner. 1 changing to 2, that brings significant definition to us. People are sensitive. So we should have a good consideration- to make people sense that you got the heart implement any single thing...

We live, we life, we lark, we laugh but remember we love(in relationship side).
Love is a big thing, after family and career and studies.

I believe we are born to love and being love,
We might meet calamities, blocker or hacker in my jouney but as long as you willing to ride though, you'll reach the destination you craves before. Live always make delusive, we cant help much because its call life. Problem will keep on kicking in, just shift the way you are, to make the road ahead clear. Its all depends on you. Life takes a turn unexpectely, we gonna lean how to guide ourself.

My life with themeless

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I'm here again to post my daynews. Should i say HI? Aiks, apparently.

It's been quite awhile i didn't write any news here. Not that I've nothing to say but I've limited time and I've no intend to post. I hate cracking my head to blog while my mind is not on my desk. Its pretty bad to force myself. What a life? Interesting eh? LOL. See, so fake!!!

Everyday, all the way fills by hectic and exhaustion. Hmm.. shouldn't sounds it as if I'm the only one burying in work all the time, perhaps somebody outside even worst than me. And now I'm typing here is following what my mind can catch up so it'll be quite random and themeless.

I'm so bad temper nowadays and easily frustrated. I've no idea why. Easy to get mad, thinks I'm crazy. Mind is somehow at six and sevens. Sigh, what medicine should i takes to get rid all of these pandemic of mine? I straight off to bed after class and sleep like there're no tomorrow these few days. I'm just feels so tired. Sometime i throws question to myself as why i just insisted to sleep earlier everyday so that i can be sooo energetic in the next day, my head is still generating the answer. I stays up late frequently-almost everyday, I just cant sleep.

Everyday seems a typical for me. Doing the same thing in the same time- perhaps things get done by the EXACTLY same timing. Guess what? Boring life it calls.

How am i supposes to formulate my schedule? I'm so busying with my family stuff, my college stuff and so on... Guess i had fully utilize me time in the pass days but it was not as nice as i thought especially these few days.

I'm so welcoming by Emo. I feels happy and enjoyed when i was with my friends, went for movies or ktv or dinning or gym recently but so suck my bad feels hit me back when I'm all alone. I used to smile everyday and jokes all i want but............ (stop). So sad to tell but its too true to be told. Paranoid swept over me again. I'm just feel that why i always flooded by these kind of stuff. I was trying to dislodge all my fucking stuff in my head- a feeling of suspicion. But HOW? I mused but tongue-tied again. Trying to picture out what have happened recently- and Omgosh, it was a lot man. But its better to keep all inside. Everything of it can be a HEADLINE. You wouldn't gear how crazy it sounded right-?

Also I'm not feeling well since Friday but i lazy to tell-or nothing to catch up much. Just my own business. People would never bother to know more about it.
I want to hid everything because they are not proud to let know and i have no intend to do so. Mean. Please... is there anyone out there able to etch my mind? I'll pay you if you really do it for me =)


*Sidetracked*



College works isn't that tough as i thought or maybe I've been trained before how to respond with different scenarios. Anyhow, things happened beyond my control limit as well, so sad right? What can i do further? Moan lo.
Assignments are in my hand now, I'm starting dump myself in assignment mood since last week. I wants all the things get done before the date. I hate last minute ald. I know it'll never generates any quality work. Its undoubtedly inevitable guys.

I craves for a nice trip probably only myself, be a backpacking just for a week time and travel around within peninsular(cheaper ma). Perhaps after my exam.. I really need it as I'm so boring in a way staying here... Fucking Boring =FORING.

As I'm typing now, my body has hints me that I'm on the periphery to get sick. I just know. I keep on drinking water.... I don't wanna get sickness now.

Also, i really miss my someone. Please don't ask who is the one. It'll always remains as a secret. I smile when i got their texts. But i don't smiles much these two weeks. I've run out of idea to entertain myself, to draw a smile face at my face. My mind is vague.


p/s: miss you =)

My life with forgetting the pass

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I also have my history, my pass life or the time i went through last 18 years. It consists of sweet and sour stuff and when i says i don't know how to respond because it seems completely ridiculous. We're human being who cannot makes everything perfect. Me too. I've my ability limit as well.

The longest relationship i have accomplished was one year. I guess so. I loved this girl almost nine years. No further detail here, am not love story telling now. Surely, for the past few years it hasn't been easy to me. (randomness)

We burying our self in many many works whenever we're sad, still it cannot distract us sometimes. Anyway, a couple of days later, and it was still playing on my mind. I've been really patient with this when the subject is brought up and i try to be comforting reminding myself to not fool myself again. I'm the decision maker,whether to forget or not but the thing seems like to hang around and hit you back when you're doing alone. Sigh!

Somehow, i found out there is a contradiction here when one wise person once said,

"Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it"

**Funny right?? So forget or remember? How to respond??
======================================================

One of my friend asked me through facebook, how was i get rid from my broken relationship. Its been half year ago and now i have the answer for her.

'' Once you've fallen in a new relationship or when you sense a feeling of love, you'll forget your ex. I cant promise it'll clearly remove from your life,cuz they're the person who had created memories with you either sweet- or bad but still, its a memory. We could never erase our mindset.''

And now, which left me with little way of distractions, I've forgotten my X relationship.

Forgetting the pass and now I've new life.

I need love.. I'm demanding love i need someone who take care of me or i can take care of. And i found one who is potentially...We always get things out into the open and discuss them.

I realize everyone has history, and it should stay in the past where it belongs, but sometimes when it pops into my mind briefly, its hard to get rid of the thought. I know that it may be because its still quite fresh in my mind, as its only a few weeks ago that I was told all this, and I've noticed that it is fading away gradually, but I just want to help it along the way and put it aside.

I like the words in this song, melts heart.

''If the road ahead is not so easy,
Our love will lead the way for us
Like a guiding star''

NOTHING'S GONNA CHANGE MY LOVE FOR YOU

If I had to live my life without you near me
The days would all be empty
The nights would seem so long
With you I see forever oh so clearly
I might have been in love before
But it never felt this strong

Our dreams are young
And we both know they'll take us
Where we want to go

(Chorus 1)
Hold me now
Touch me now
I don't want to live without you

(Chorus 2)
Nothing's gonna change my love for you
You ought know by now how much I love you
One thing you can be sure of
I'll never ask for more than your love

(Chorus 3)
Nothing's gonna change my love for you
You ought know by now how much I love you
The world may change my whole life through
But nothing's gonna change my love for you

If the road ahead is not so easy,
Our love will lead the way for us
Like a guiding star
I'll be there for you if you should need me
You don't have to change a thing
I love you just the way you are
So come with me and share the view
I'll help you see forever too

-love ya-

My life with tiredness

Today, my mind is busy, is tired !!!

My life with short post

First and foremost,thanks myself to pass all d subjects.

New semester started last last week. I was pissed off with my college's POOR management. Sigh, nothing more left to rate here. It would never shift the way they running worksssss.

Oh ya, my results. Its not as nice as i thought before i would say. *preposterous* My current GPA is 3.6 if im not mistaken since i am strictly not allowed to take my result slip (Loan student) by now. Still, keep my finger crossed for my another paper which is Moral could make me cheer up abit. Atleast!!! I'm GREEDY. Again, my friends give me a call indicated and expressed how happy were them once they received the results and greet me (obviously mine is better than them) but yet, im still so down probably last 2days. I have no idea with myself. Typical me.


I took five subjs this semester, its a long sem. I craves to complete my diploma as soon as possible.
-Management Accounting
-Production Management
-Business Strategy
-Company Law
-Malaysian Studies

Erm... my scedule isn't that pack and i still manage to breath away in between.

Stop with my college stuff... Its boring !

I found out my immune system has drastically dropped to a critical level, i always get sick. Flu in d midnight or suddenly headache. Gonna take more care !

Life with who love the more...

Halo Gazy, noon!
i said to myself...

I've been thinking lately perhaps in the midnight. Thing seems used to pop in-out through my mind, you'll never stop ur brain not to think what gonna emerges in ur mind,At all!!


=You know what you should do? Pick the one that loves you and you're totally not into, because you will learn to love them and they treat you like a precious thing for the rest of your life. =

Honestly i say, i'm not. I always love the most. Plus, i wont click with anyone who i'm totally not into !!

This is the issue recently conquers and blocking my thinking as i tried hard not to think but still, its a issue that weols might face one day or its occurring in life.

Have you ever think-if you did something but someone never know and you'll never told them what you've done for them?

Have you ever get mad- but you'll never speak it out because you care of their feeling or just worried they might think that you're so childish, lack of flexibility?

Have you ever think of wanna gain more spending time with them but you're tongue-tied to ask for it?

Have you ever thinks if you love too much, you give too much, you care too much, you protect too much but in the end, YOU are the only one??

''Life- as if a hotel. People keep on checking in and out in our life. Can we really find a fixed one who willing to stay longer? ''

Why?? Are they feel boring?
I can't sense if people get bored of me, its apparently out of my control range. The best i can try just --, do the best for myself and try my best to love my life, to love the one i love.

Thts all i can do, isn't it? I'm a human who have feeling but I'll never packaging myself like a perfect prince, dress up myself as if rich guy, in fact I'm not!

I love my life, cuz my life have you...

My life with Life

Last week has been pretty dramatic to me. Can't tell uols because i don't know how miraculously and melodramatic it was, because they all happened all out of sudden.

Well, come back to the topic now.

For me, I've been assigning by god to a not-so-rich family, just average but I've nothing to say. Thts call FATE. Right?? Haiz... never have an intention to blame anyone, my parents - i believe they dont want these all, either. They raised me up and turned me into a healthy kid.

And, i deeply believe - there are consequences in life to make it balance. Just take one example here. If you choose pretty or beauty,you will get less the richness, knowledge ; if you choose knowledge, you only can get a normal physical look. This is fairness call. Maybe someone out there will know what i'm trying to link up. Tell you, our life happens rhythmically. No one can be presumptuous. Its a prescript that had set.

''I'm so proud with myself, GOD present me Knowledge and Happiness''

Thts life, we can't be a perfect person because there are no one is. I envy some of my rich friends, they use the best - they dress the gorgeously - they eat those delicious and surely they spend the most. I ever whimsically, purposely click with rich guy and gurl, ya- to get advantages on them but i never. Its a sin, wicked enough. I've go through so many things in my pass life, variety of tastes.

Willy-nilly, i still need to run my life. Down-to-earth is a strategy of my life, a formula to implement my things although there are a small group of human who are exorbitantly realistic. Feeling hellish with those HUMANS. You guys are low brow. Lol =)

When i was still young in school, i kept mention to anyone that someday i will be an accountant But as the time goes on, i don't feels like being accountant is the one I'm into so. Sigh. I've a new target now and always, but it just that on the periphery- never within reach or maybe d timing haven't clicking in.

I eager to be an adult when i was young but so far, I'm still like a small boy although i'm 19. My mindset, my thinking. Somehow, someone transform me.. inspires me indeed- into a more rational and yet still childlike. Haha...

My life went by smoothly in the pass if deducted my heartbroken period and some disappointment which flooded through me. My life is still running fine so far, i guess. And there are seem to be radiating by my family, my friends around me, someone important in mylife......!

Bby =)

My life with missing you

Well, i'm sitting on my bed but David Cook's song on the another tab is playing, and my mind now is full of you. I cant seems to find a way to remove my sickness. But, mind,keep on picture ur face, figure ur smiles....

A couple relationships may be the most important in your life. It is often the main relationship in people's lives; it is the basis of a family and this is the place where most of us learn about love, commitment, communication, negotiation and compromise.

Sometime, to get what you're like the most is quite difficult and by the time, the thing is in your hand, but it maybe wont be the thing you wants the most. Life is kinda melodramatic.

Its weird but yet i'm still waiting and craving for what i wanted!

I'm puzzled, i've no idea whelther i have got what i wanted in my hand dy because i even don't have the answer. As now i sitting front of PC, i feel so weak but sweet at the same time. I found someone that i can miss and love with a reason.

So high level of patience and trust needed to maintain everything in our life because so far i realised that a great relationship usually start off from good friendship.

Airport is our last met, but i'm really-seriously- honestly- say this, I Miss You already and guess its countless time of i miss you, emphasized again =) I've my amphetaimined when you're there with me, i know it was a true feeling, NOT Not not the problematic effect.


''Missing someone gets easier every day because even though it's one day further from the last time you saw each other, it's one day closer to the next time you will ! ''


People will never be meant what they seems, and this really has made me treasure all the people who're close to my heart especially you. Weols are running life according to our heart's will. So, if the couple of heart is close, it means they're not far in distance and they're not alone!

Thinks if i ever get my love of my own, i'm gonna love them every single bit of their single day. Don't know why, all these seriously made me feel like treasuring a love of my own. Not to get a ovation to prove that i'm a good lover but i've my own way of loving =)

I often likes to listen to some of the music before i off to my bed. Naturally, i think of you. Songs always remind me of you=) I know someday u'll back to my side...

I'm happy u're a part of me !!!

Being Alone

Talking about Alone. Yup, i used to be alone ever since i was young. True, and my mum always asked me to join social clubs when i was primary and played with neighbour's child and cousins..... I just didn't. A loner, isn't bad character at all. Its my instinct, i've no idea with it. A loner able to enjoy the happiness in their own life as well as others. I can be so intangible, nobody can be my insurer. Staying alone always given me ample time to think about things. We gonna learn how to think, really!

Here we go...

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=I went to catch up with a couple movie in cinema alone, i CAN.
@Reason
I'm so insufferable enough to call up group of people, going to cinema together BUT discuss and NEGOTIATE what movie to watch, in front of the counter and turns out no conclusion in the end. So pissed off. I rather choose what i gonna watch and grab my ticket, get a popcorn and cup of drink, enter d hall searching for my seat. Thts kinda relax i tell you !!


=I shopping 24/7 at everywhere shooping mall alone, i CAN.
@Reason
I would never feel guilty to persuade myself shopping with me. My body is with me. Haha!! I need to have space and time to do my shopping. I'll feel kinda sorry if there are someone perhaps my friend waiting for me. I am so insolvency to that friend. Lol =) Also, i can't intent on my work i would say. So, it isn't that bad, shopping alone. YES, i agree reluctantly. *blinks*


=I took breaskf, lunch, dinner anywhere all the way by myself, i CAN.
@Reason
Drive myself to the place i wanted to go, sit down and order my meals. Thats easy life i craves. I'm not trying to singularize with other but ya, eating alone silently once in a while making you so amphetaimined sometimes. Isn't it?


=I off to silence site, have a drink and have a view outside d building, alone, i CAN.
@Reason
We need to rest, stop to walk for awhile. Scanning at others, see how they rush their life - how they walk - how they look like when they acknowledge that people are wacthing at them. We found out its beauty and exultation but still, existence of eyesores always here and there. Who knows, it'll be our turns one day, watching by other, observes by other. Human are bombarded with lotsa of problems. We might lost ourself in life but we need to learn how to get rid of those hardness in life, study the problematic of life before u becomes immobilization to clicking life. I'm 19y/o now, and i starts to realise that a person can't be unsophisticated. *Geez*


See..


I am not a weird people, I'm running my life jauntily. lol =) I would never immure myself in a fixed circle.Its not devastated cuz i used to doing whatever i wanted to do.I'm stil myself, i have many boon companion and friends, d issue is, i need to be alone when i think thats d time for me to be alone. People say, we need to make many many friends ,holding a long term friendship, yes i did it unquestionably. Different human dress up different mindsets, interest and views, i like friends but i loves alone also.

p/s: Eager to start my Uni life. *Sigh*

Its notifiable

Again, i'm here. I like blogging. Its seem an alternative mediun to tell my life stories, which i never say it out face-to face to anyone. Study week started, will having my final on this upcoming August. Haiz, amazing how time flies just like this.

Oh yeah, one of my friend threw me a question last week. He found out that i'm so mysterious guy who make him felt like i've looked myself in my own.. Am i? Maybe he was right... Think of it, first impression of me to my friends are, laugh non-stop guy and talkactive right? But, here is a question to be answered. Am i talking all the way including d stuff hiden deeply inside me? No, i guess definitely. I'm a pretentious guy. I have tons of friends who used to talk, laugh and jokes but its about our life-stuff not MY life stuff. I'm sorry if i did created any delusive to uols that i'm so outie. Ya, i'm friendly if u're friendly as well. I'm open whenever i am with my friends but no matter how open was it, it has a line!!!!

I've too much rubbish around me. I dislike my relatives, i hate them. I feels tiresome toward some of my friends. I need to wear mask whenever we have a so-called Big family reunion dinner for the sake of pretend myself, protect myself. Their tartness would really make u feel uncomfortable. Not all but majority of them. Wistful !! And ya, i ever think before why i am not a STRAIGHT A's student so that they could shut-up forever or tongue-tied for awhile atleast to let my parents feels better. In fact, i'm not. Sigh.

FRIEND, on the other hand can push and pull you up and down, so be careful when you choose one. I don't have intention to blame anyone, but frankly my feelings and they way i treats them will change by the way they treated me. I've my own mini life so please don't step into or emerge in my life and raving inside a circle of mine, thats enough. Somehow, you're gone beyond mine for today and i'm still, acts like normal. BUT, dont try my patience. It has limits.

Again, to those cynics, You'll pay for it whatever you have said. I'm still spry enough now who knows one day i would success so don't be so astounded with the fact by that time i really am. So, before you die, STOP RUBBISHY. I hate upbraid. I'm tends to be more peaceful and silence. Shemozzle isn't my hobby.

I LOVE both of pic above... Its mine =) It turns my mood !!

I hopes i'm a hedonist one day in future life, i crave for it.

Time with a cup of Coffee. I wrote my feelingss.

I don't know why. All the humans are dozing like dead zombies but me, still sitting front my pc and blogging. I' so think that my life is a mess, filled with strees these few days. Its all out of my control range. I PITY MYSLEF.!!! My smiling will so LOL or just a fake plastic?? I used to laugh, smiles but who know i'm bleeding inside? Have i need to mention if i'm sad? No... And ya,no one could understand what actually went wrong with me and whats up in my mind, even myself. I'm kinda paranoid. I cant trust myself because sometimes feeling cheated me and gives a lie. I feels so lethargic. I hate the current me. I cant have my confidence back. Tons of things seem appear in my entire life. Its ALOT. Flabbergasted enough, why i could just become like this just like the way i am now. I felt my life is kinda disconnected.Problems seemed to evoke dynamically. It have been afflicted me. So numd now. I'm so poor. I really poor. I was always unable to overcome my aekwardness. Somehow, i'm trying now. trying very hard, i know i can make it.

'' Try and think about it. If your heart is closed don't lock it. Keep your keys back in ur pocket, think this though please stay with me, just stay with me. I promise i'll take you to foreverland, just stay''

It isn't a customary for me to love someone, so just don't make me have a phobia against love again. I might hard to gain ur love but i hope we'll always be good.

I cant bear to take you out from my life because i know, i'll so lifeless if ur no longer in my mind. I'll definitely lose myself if i can't dream of you, i'll feel dismay if i can't think of you when i'm missing you. Eventually, i pointed out. Would you become my store- room just to keep my broken heart or you'll never be mine? Couldn't catch my breath soon enough to respond to myself.

I wants you you to forget all ur passed just to be with me but can you do that? Okie, maybe you can't just erase ur histories just like that i understand but atleast, I say ATLEAST. Or one day you 're be mine, i wants you to dress up a new life. I know u might been hurt by other before so now i'm here to replace them.. REPLACE? No, i don't wanna be a only replacement but i want you accept me by ur whole heart, shower me with ur true love because i'm doing these all now to you.Its really sad if i'm only a shield of you,to spend ur boring lifetime.Don't okie? Ya, i might be a nonenity in ur life but you're nonsuch for me. You know?

I trying and trying and trying, i wishes one day you can totally be mine. Only belongs to GAZY... Mature's thinking overcome me within these 3days, is it totally overcomes? No i guess. But im mature abit. I know, i grew. In fact, i'm in process to become mature people. I need to. I know it could be my strength in my future. I'm still a small boy who used to think nth before. A guy who likes to laugh, make jokes around and smiles with his trackmark smiling style! I don't want everything turn out complicated utterly at time .My mind ,body, heart are getting tired and deteriorating.

I'm in an appalling predicament, i need someone i need the most to comfort me. To plant a love tree for me. I'm in abyss now ........ Everything seem so grey and ambiguously!

=listen to the songs that remind me of you.. again and again Countless, endless............ And its twilight comes by the time i finished my post. I miss you already ...

Its hard to crave what we want?

It hasn't been easy for me these few days. I don't know why. Its been a long time people say things about what is behind my back, people will always find something weird in me, of me and about me. I 've nothing to say cuz i don't know what else i could say and what to respond. To be frank, we could hardly control others' mouth. They say what they wanted to say and i accepted and digested. I don't know why, but ya, sometimes i found that where life tends to be the way of how we wanted it to be. Seriously. And, i have a big picture in mind although i try kinda hard to not too dwell on it.I hopes , miracles would emerged one day. I'm a melodramatic guy before this but now, i changed. I've no idea with it tho but i know i've changes alots.

My mind was at sixes and seven. I so confused and i've been thinking alots. I wonder howcome my small cranium could stored such zillion of things.

I blog this entry, just wants to write it down to release what i feel inside. Finally i exploded.

Tell you, my first love took me 8 years but we weren't date in the first 6years. Pity? I'm silly. I'm stupid to have a relationship like this. A gurl i loved the most and she was my first love. People do say, first love is unforgettable.We created a lot of sweet memories back in the days.I have to admit it. True. But it ended up just like this in the end! Like what? Like a story without an ending but in fact, the screne shown 'THE END''. I dont think its the ideal version which people craving for. Me? Everything seemed ungovernable. I'm STUPID enough.

I believe in love at first sight. Is anyone out there believe the existence of love at first sight? I love you since i met you. I could hardly falling in love with anyone.

I found one who are so important in my life now CURRENTLY. I never thought that i could fallen in love such deep. I cant help. I miss you everyday every hour even minutes. I cant get you out of my mind eventhough i'm studying, driving, sleeping.... I know we're from different timeline but i don't care much. I want you. Ever since i know you, i couldn't have a nice sleeping time. I cant fall asleep because i keep thinking of you and i saw a shadow outside my window and was you. It was a dream. I stored all the texts you sent me,read again and again. It makes me smiled blissfully. Somehow, I'm young as i'm still 19y/o, i might be not mature enough to get any relationship but my heart is pain when i think of you. I love you, truly deeply i say this. I'm not the kind who can flirting here and there and fishing others simultaneously. Sorry i'm not.

I need to hid everything in my real life. Always being sigh-ing isn't good to myself so does humans around me. I love you just like the way i love myself or it just more than i can say. I guess myself, will agree enthusiastically. The way you smiles and laughs even when you talked to me, you're melting my heart. I'm so hopeless to get fairy-tale's love. I know its impossible for me to have one. You would never know, i miss you like crazy sometimes even myself have no idea how to allevaite it from aggravating.

I miss everything of you because you're good in everything,i need to point out. Its just insuperable. Usually brightness will become a tool to wake myself up every morning from my window. Open both of my eyes and i'll definitely checking my phone's status, it becomes my routine. Waiting for ur message. We are not really so in sms-ing. Sometime you might reply me late or suddenly lost contact or fell asleep without telling me and making me stayed up late just to wait for ur reply, but i'm still happy. Waited for no reason but i still managed to persuade myself to not get angry. I really do. Sometimes i emo, i mused, i pictured ,but it was YOU, appears in my mind. Too many things can easily remind me of you. The songs you like, the jokes we made.......

I pity myself , am i clapping one hand all the way by myself or i just a carefree that u'll never think of? I've no comment if you are thinking that way, due to i'm not nice people and i'm not rich, i am not attractive and i'm suck. Paranoid swept over me again. And ya, i was trying to dislodge all the stupid feeling of mine. I tried but its hard.I don wanna get maim in the end, no one will synpathize! Failed to saporific myself to get rid stupidness of mine, i need some helps. I'm getting deeper in love obliviously, honestly.

I've a nightmare of love. I've phobia. Now, my love is here for you. Is there any prescription to perpetuate my strong feeling toward you?? I don't wanna miss my feeling. I want it being insusceptible.

Its my purest of love. I say it, i meant it . Thanks for entering my life. I smiles everyday but only myself know, i'm quite LOL inside....

Relief from the abyss?

Both pictures above was taking randomly in class ONLY.

I've been truly exhausted by now probably used up too much energy in completing my works... Tons of it, piles of it !!! To be frank, i was way so kinda lazy to even move my ass to make this post. *tsk tsk*

I finished all my assignments officially by today. I could able to breath away after this i guess. Oops no. It hasn't comes to the end yet as the finals will be more or less few weeks, catch me up sooner or later. *Sighs* What a life, interesting? Light? Idk ...

My face are so like a dead zombie since i didn't had enough sleep,i've to admit that i'm totally pathetic just to prepare my assignments last minutes. I actually sucks of ranting and i wasn't being emotional, it had debaunched my mood. *bastard* I've nothing to say although there're lots to bring out but i just dont want. As long as my works get done perfectly by my own in the end. But truth be told, i'll more alert from now onward and ya, i'll treat people just like the way they treated me. I need to formulate again, my attitude so does my evaluation's toward others.I've been burying all these things. Cuz,I've no intention to blame anyone, because that wasn't a big sins tho. *tongue-tied*

I'm kind. In fact, too kind! Disappoinment flooded through me. I'm no longer Mr. friendly and Mr.kind !! You might need to be mentally prepare for it. Am not shabby but kinda tired and i seriously need a pause for a second in my life, to reload myself =) *crosses finger*

Enough to say, i rather save my energy than to waste them by ranting and talking nonsense here, saving my energy to MISS SOMEONE WHO I MISS THE MOST RIGHT NOW. And to uols, my beloved readers, i'm just typing here as random as i can get. You might puzzled with my statement and i'm sorry if i do confusing uols. *blinks*

Well, i've been missing in blog's world for few weeks and thanks uols who concerns and cares of my life and blog. Appreciate it honestly =) Although my post sound so down, but i'm happy as a bird also sometimes because i'm not alone. I'm with YOU =) *bby*