My life with i'm back

Nah,this will bea long long post =)

It comes to the corner, for us to greet goodbye to 2009 and hugs the coming of a new year. Just wait. One more month and the calendar will come to its end.

Time flies like an arrow, leaving fast without knowing by us. I have to admit it and I’m now 19, maturity is obviously, should have. Yeah, I’m no longer an under-aged guy. I can step in club officially and legally. Few more days will be the starting of my finals… a nightmare? No... I just can’t wait to finish my entire exam and I can take a breath… I always can’t wait for my exam, typical me. Don’t you heard before, the longer we wait, the more nervous we are. So, just do it. It has been my pandemic.

On my studies… I believe that, I have tried my very best. I’m kind of greedy when it comes to studies since I was secondary 4. I crave for top, always going up to higher rank. People say I’m crazy, because those who said it were normally the last. Haha… I accomplished what I wanted, I guess, oh... but still disappointed with minor of them… quite disappointed. I used to start and start earlier than other, no no no, I don’t found any problem here… I’m the first mover, remember? So, I tend to be more alert. Is it alert? Or I’m kiasu kind? Whatever, u ain’t marking my life…

While, my circle of friend remain d same anyway. My college friends and some Malay friends, forget to tell, i've some happened to be my friend but they are racist. *kicked* Cant blame them, not my stuff. Well, I’m not that choosy when it comes to making friend as long as you really treat me as friend. Im ok with it... But please don’t expect too much from me. I’m no longer a Mr. nice like I did before. I can picture some in my mind, where it’s pointless to treat people nicely even you know they just take you as so-so friend. It tasted awful and I won’t like a fool, never. I’m so protective toward myself ever since. I’m easy to approach no doubt, but you got me no point I tell you even once my friends told, I’m too hard for them to study, because I choose who to tell and keep. I’m smart in this. But for sure, I know who can be my true friend and who can be my friend. As simple as that, easy thing to get in mind. Not to forget, i love all my bloggers. You know who you are.. looking forward to meet uols, Thx for being such concern and friendly =)

My family? Too many things to catch up and this year isn’t a luck year for my family I would say. Calamities keep flooding over… anyhow, everything was past, and we still managed to curve it with a cover page. Nothing much to link..

Good news for myself, I become brighter than my previous year. I smiles more than last year, maybe there was some interludes, bringing me sweet and happy memories. I will never forget, it will be always sweet memories for me, either sad or happy, still it is a memory. Thanks… for those who taught me the meaning of love, the dentition of tender and the acts of caring. You’ll always with me no matter what…. *winked*

Sure, I have my sadness month as well. There is no-one, who manage to act happy throughout the whole year. Human being builds up with feeling also… I was saddened by something bad… It somehow brings me to the abyss, felt like I was in an appalling predicament. Feels helpless... Nobody give me a hand at the moment, because I never tell anyone. Oh no, I told some about my stories and glad to have them, to be with me, ride though all the sadness day. I’m tired , to be an actor for movie call life. We can disguise no doubt, but we can never fool our self. So, you can never know a 19 years old boy might cry like baby. Life had implied me plenty of stuff and the tone of life somehow not understandable, resulted in me lost too many thing one go. See, how silly life is and morbid to entertain people like fool…

Robert Frost once said, keep the sweetest moments we ever had and make sure we remember the happy period of time but, we should keep those are bad as well, study them and be friend with them… don’t threw those sad memory away, the more you want to forget, the harder you are.

Yap, I personally agree with it. So, I choose to remember instead of forget, store in the deepest part of me. Because we can never erase the things that happened in life, or we’ll live in heartless life, it happens every time when we recall back the whole accident. The sight of those things gives me so many emotions, mostly sadness but also happiness. Sometime sweet and happy memories might give a sad impact to emotion. Believe me, I trust it!

I’m tending to be more looking at the bigger picture. I think from perspective views just to draw a perfect line in the middle for myself to not doing over, either less. Don’t always go for minor but major also. LIFE is easy but it isn’t as simple as we thought. Never, we need to commit so many many with life. So, I view life from different aspects now, wider our view, the bigger landscape will be snapped, the more experience we gather, it paid off in the end. I like to take an unusual route. I don’t like following, I walk by my own.

Wow, my hand is getting tired. It is a lot man.. Okie, I’m just too many feeling want to spray out before I start my exam and my blog will be quite silent for a month time. I take this opportunity to blog more, to pen more…

I need fresh air to breathe in. I need new environment, for awhile to restart my brain setting before I dump back to my college in new semester… My entire semester was dragging me to hell but I love the schedule, it was packed. It filled every minute of mine. I was so busy, this is undoubtedly inevitable but yet happy.