Time with a cup of Coffee. I wrote my feelingss.

I don't know why. All the humans are dozing like dead zombies but me, still sitting front my pc and blogging. I' so think that my life is a mess, filled with strees these few days. Its all out of my control range. I PITY MYSLEF.!!! My smiling will so LOL or just a fake plastic?? I used to laugh, smiles but who know i'm bleeding inside? Have i need to mention if i'm sad? No... And ya,no one could understand what actually went wrong with me and whats up in my mind, even myself. I'm kinda paranoid. I cant trust myself because sometimes feeling cheated me and gives a lie. I feels so lethargic. I hate the current me. I cant have my confidence back. Tons of things seem appear in my entire life. Its ALOT. Flabbergasted enough, why i could just become like this just like the way i am now. I felt my life is kinda disconnected.Problems seemed to evoke dynamically. It have been afflicted me. So numd now. I'm so poor. I really poor. I was always unable to overcome my aekwardness. Somehow, i'm trying now. trying very hard, i know i can make it.

'' Try and think about it. If your heart is closed don't lock it. Keep your keys back in ur pocket, think this though please stay with me, just stay with me. I promise i'll take you to foreverland, just stay''

It isn't a customary for me to love someone, so just don't make me have a phobia against love again. I might hard to gain ur love but i hope we'll always be good.

I cant bear to take you out from my life because i know, i'll so lifeless if ur no longer in my mind. I'll definitely lose myself if i can't dream of you, i'll feel dismay if i can't think of you when i'm missing you. Eventually, i pointed out. Would you become my store- room just to keep my broken heart or you'll never be mine? Couldn't catch my breath soon enough to respond to myself.

I wants you you to forget all ur passed just to be with me but can you do that? Okie, maybe you can't just erase ur histories just like that i understand but atleast, I say ATLEAST. Or one day you 're be mine, i wants you to dress up a new life. I know u might been hurt by other before so now i'm here to replace them.. REPLACE? No, i don't wanna be a only replacement but i want you accept me by ur whole heart, shower me with ur true love because i'm doing these all now to you.Its really sad if i'm only a shield of you,to spend ur boring lifetime.Don't okie? Ya, i might be a nonenity in ur life but you're nonsuch for me. You know?

I trying and trying and trying, i wishes one day you can totally be mine. Only belongs to GAZY... Mature's thinking overcome me within these 3days, is it totally overcomes? No i guess. But im mature abit. I know, i grew. In fact, i'm in process to become mature people. I need to. I know it could be my strength in my future. I'm still a small boy who used to think nth before. A guy who likes to laugh, make jokes around and smiles with his trackmark smiling style! I don't want everything turn out complicated utterly at time .My mind ,body, heart are getting tired and deteriorating.

I'm in an appalling predicament, i need someone i need the most to comfort me. To plant a love tree for me. I'm in abyss now ........ Everything seem so grey and ambiguously!

=listen to the songs that remind me of you.. again and again Countless, endless............ And its twilight comes by the time i finished my post. I miss you already ...